He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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