it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
