How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
