Me too!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Even my vagina gasped.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
