I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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