I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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