Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
