I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
