Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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