I think my fart just growled at me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
