If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I understand Curling. That high.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
