I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Terrible idea I love it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
