i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
