Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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