lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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