Will you blow on my dice?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
