...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
