His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
