I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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