Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
