Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
