Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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