I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
