if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
