Your face is a jimmy john
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
