you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
