I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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