Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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