I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Green mimosas i think yes
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
