Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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