is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
