this beer tastes like vomit already
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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