nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
