I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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