a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
