she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what day is it and did you see me today?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
