how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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