Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
