I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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