Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
