wake up i wanna do it froggy style
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
