Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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