He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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