She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
