wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
