it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
