sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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