Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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