So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
