I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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