Who did Billy Mays play for?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this boner is exhausting
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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