dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
