My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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